Who Says My Pet Shop Supplies the Military?

“You’re telling me this robot dog, with thermal imaging, GPS tracking, and autonomous patrol functions, is a pet toy?” the female reporter asked, utterly baffled. The man being interviewed looked perfectly sincere. “Of course! That ‘Sand Fox Mercenary Group’ using it for infiltration and reconnaissance on the battlefield was entirely the buyer’s own doing. It has nothing to do with our Lin’s Pet Paradise!” “You wouldn’t arrest a knife shop owner just because someone committed a crime with a kitchen knife, would you?” “That’s true, but...” The reporter gazed despairingly at the products on display in Lin Yi’s shop. “What about this ‘smart cat teaser ball’? I heard it can climb walls and comes equipped with high-frequency sound waves and a strobe light. Someone even used it as a reconnaissance drone!” Lin Yi explained earnestly, “It helps pets improve their reflexes and intelligence. Perfectly normal.” “And this ‘mobility aid for pets’ is clearly a powered exoskeleton for infantry!” “Don’t be ridiculous. It helps disabled pets recover!” “Then what’s the deal with that ‘smart feeder’ that can precisely lock onto targets and fire ‘nutritional meatballs’ at high speed?!” “It prevents pets in multi-pet households from fighting over food. We promote harmonious pet ownership!” The reporter took a deep breath and asked her final question. “So... what do you think of the fact that the International Security Advisory Organization named you, the owner, the ‘most promising emerging supplier of advanced infantry equipment’?” That was the last straw. Lin Yi completely lost his temper. “Bullshit!” “I run a pet shop! Who the hell said I’m a supplier of infantry equipment?!” “Purchasing department! Get over here and cancel Blackwater’s order! What the hell is this? My business is perfectly legal!”