Mr. Fu, Your Wife Just Kissed You with a Snake's Tongue

[A groveling ex seeks her back + both leads are inexperienced + possessive pursuit + powerful man, weaker woman] A little green snake who has spent three hundred years cultivating and is about to take human form gets caught by a butcher while looking for candied hawthorn skewers! Just as she's about to become snake gall soup, wealthy CEO Fu Jinyan waves a hand. “I'll buy this snake!” The little green snake is delighted. Oh my, has a domineering Xu Xian come to dote on me? Instead, the man turns around and tosses her into a wine jar. “Let her soak for seven days, then take her gallbladder to make medicine.” The little green snake: ??? Human storybooks are all lies! After seven days and nights of soaking, she somehow survives and earns the nickname “the pickled snake who won't give up.” When the wine is being poured, she darts away and dives under the CEO's bed. And just then, she! Transforms! Into! A human! Fu Jinyan walks in and demands coldly, “Where's the snake I was soaking in wine?” A naked little girl looks guilty. “I-it said it was going on a trip down the sewer! I'm just a passing thief. I surrender!” The man narrows his eyes with a faint smile and lifts her up. “A thief? More like a heart thief. Now that you're here, don't even think about running!” The little green snake is in tears. I should never have left the mountain. I just want to go back and freeload while eating mice!!