I transmigrated into the body of a tyrant, only to have the empress force-feed me a fake-death potion from the start.
Me: That's it, I'm done for before the story even begins.
The goofball System: [Drawing an SSR Heroic Spirit for you: Bai Qi, the King of Feasts!]
Little Bai snatched the poison and downed it in one gulp. “My lord, this is delicious! Another bowl!”
The empress and her treacherous ministers: !!! (He's immune to every poison?! And he has such a terrifying bodyguard!)
Me: ?
Later, when I ran short of money, I sent men to raid a corrupt official's home.
My subordinate: “His Majesty is truly wise! The raid is just a pretext. The real goal is to intimidate the other factions! Killing two birds with one stone!”
I just wanted to get some cash!
When foreign tribes invaded, I sent out a newly drawn R-rank civil official, the “Zuan Literary Master.”
Enemy general: “Hahaha! Xia has no worthy men left, so they send a civil official to his death?”
Zuan Literary Master: “Your mother... (three thousand words omitted)”
The enemy general was cursed so furiously that his battle energy went haywire. He foamed at the mouth and died on the spot.
The entire army: “His Majesty foresaw everything! He defeated the enemy without bloodshed. Truly, he is a god among men!”
Me: ...I really only wanted him to make up the numbers. Please, stop reading so much into everything! Being a tyrant is exhausting!