A Woman in Chongzhen's Reign: I Survived Long Enough to Become an Old Monster!

Name: A Woman in Chongzhen's Reign: I Survived Long Enough to Become an Old Monster!
Author: Loves Fish2021

女穿崇祯：苟到活成老妖精！

by Loves Fish2021 (爱吃鱼2021)

Status: Ongoing
Length: 220k Words
Genre: Ancient Romance
Subgenre: Ancient Romance High-Concept
Updated: 1y ago
Source: Fanqie

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62Chapters

5.8Score

1.8kReads · all time

Synopsis

I got hit with a bottle while breaking up a bar fight. When I opened my eyes, I'd become Chongzhen, just as he was about to hang himself. What the hell did I do to deserve this?! A System suddenly popped into my head: “Hang on and hold on to the south of the Yangtze. Every year you survive adds five years to your life!” Lin Lan kicked over the imperial throne. “Hang on? I'll hang on until the Qing army is begging for mercy!” The moment she arrived in Nanjing, she melted down her dowry gold bangles to pay the troops. When the Minister of Revenue complained about the empty treasury, she slammed the table. “Hide a single coin and I'll twist your head off to use as a chamber pot!” When the Qing army invaded, she sat on the city wall munching corn and directed new recruits to repel the attack with volley guns. She shouted at the fleeing soldiers, “Don't chase them! Bullets are worth more than your lives!” Dorgon sent a letter urging her to surrender. She turned it into a bawdy tune for the soldiers to sing and sent a reply: “You take Beijing, I'll hold the south. Fighting costs money, so why not trade instead?” She secretly built steam trains to transport grain and mounted rifled cannons to bombard city walls. Qian Qianyi called her a “defiler of tradition,” so she tossed him a baked potato. “Let's talk after every commoner can eat meat at every meal!” Once she'd built up an overwhelmingly powerful military, Aobai came to attack with an army of two hundred thousand. She tore down the banner that read “Hang On.” “Damn it! I'll cut off his third leg!” Steam warships blockaded the Bohai Gulf, while cavalry with spring-loaded knives sent the Eight Banners army scattering. In three months, they reclaimed Shandong. Lin Lan grabbed Aobai by the hair and laughed. “I'll give you a yin-yang haircut and show you what it's like to have an empress!” While pursuing the remnants of the enemy forces, she came across the Russians building a city. She ordered the artillery to blast it to rubble. “This thousand-mile stretch of land is war reparations. No arguments!” Later, she mounted cannons on the Himalayas. Sixty-eight-year-old Lin Lan, whose System had given her a lifespan of 120 years, pulled out her binoculars. “Who's the Middle Kingdom now? Let's make sure they can see!”

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