Your Majesty, All I Want Is to Keep My Head Down

Xu Chang'an transmigrates into the Ning Kingdom's biggest good-for-nothing. From the start, he's kicked out of his home and dumped in public, leaving him with a life so bleak you could squeeze a three-bedroom apartment out of it.

In his previous life, he'd worked himself to death. Now he's finally figured it out: this time, grand ambitions, civil achievements, military glory, all of it can get lost! His dream is a modest one: open a little teahouse, eat and wait to die, and keep his head down until the end of time!

But fate has a huge joke in store for him.

He cries out to the spring rain, "All triumphs and failures fade into nothing," hoping to reflect on his lie-flat life. Instead, the emperor, traveling incognito, is instantly awestruck and declares him a hidden master!

Xu Chang'an: "Your Majesty, I'm not, I haven't, don't make things up!" The emperor: "Sir, you are a man of great talent and humble spirit. I understand!"

The more he tries to explain, the more mysterious everyone thinks he is. The more he tries to escape the hustle and bustle, the more trouble comes looking for him!

Literati ask him for poetry? He recites a verse from "Bring in the Wine" to scare them off, only to be hailed as the reincarnation of the Poetry Immortal! A military general comes to discuss the Way of the Martial Arts? He makes up a few moves from an exercise routine to get out of it, only to be revered as a martial arts grandmaster! Enemy forces invade, and the entire nation begs him to save the country? In his panic, he rambles about "project management" and is proclaimed an unmatched military strategist!

Even the haughty young lady who broke off their engagement comes to his door late at night, eyes red. "Chang'an, I was wrong before... Please save my family..."

Xu Chang'an clutches his head in despair. "Please, all you big shots, give me a break! Leave me alone! I really just want to sell bowls of cheap tea for three coins!"

"If you ask what my dream is, I truly just want to open a little teahouse, make some money, and enjoy a carefree life. If you ask what I am now..."