The little princess, named Xiao Jiaojiao, begins life as a baby. Inside, she is bursting with commentary:
Her emperor father reviews memorials with ruthless efficiency, cutting down corrupt officials as easily as chopping melons and vegetables. (Her thoughts: “Tsk, that corrupt official deserves to be thrown into the boiling oil! Good job, Dad! Huh? Why did Dad suddenly look at me?”)
Her empress mother looks dignified as she lectures others, but inside she is plotting which snacks to sneak tonight. (Her thoughts: “Mother, you're about to drool!” The empress's inner monologue: How does this little thing know?!).
Her wet nurse is all thumbs. (Her thoughts: “Clumsy! You're going to make the princess choke!”)
Some consorts pay her a hypocritical visit, their minds full of schemes. (Her thoughts: “Bad woman! You stink, and I mean your malice! Stay away from me!”)
