Help! A Bug Turned the Evil God into a Hopeless Romantic

Thanks for the invite. I’m in the BOSS’s lair, and I just got the Wi-Fi connected.

When the heartbeats of the world-ending evil god shatter the players’ hearts

Eros’s “world-ending weapon” → is actually a chip-feeding machine

He snatches my chips with a tentacle. “Human, you stepped on my charging cable!”

The players try to assassinate him? I pull on a Hello Kitty bulletproof bib. “Don’t get blood on my new slippers!”

The System orders me to kill the enemy? I make the evil god dance to “Paradise”!

The Main God tries to erase me? He crushes the eraser and whisks me away to elope with him. “The password is your birthday. Is this black card enough to support you?”

The “Heart-Pounding Core” → becomes a phone power bank after we get married

The “Main God’s Coffin” → gets used as a wedding gift box for red envelopes

I kiss his fangs. “Deal! But we need three ground rules:

One, help me clear my shopping cart before you destroy the world!

Two, no using tentacles to write my weekly reports!!

Three, tonight… Mm…”