The System Tricked Me for Three Thousand Years

The day I bound myself to the Heaven’s Dao Enlightenment System, I thought I’d gotten the protagonist’s script. The System told me to kiss spirit beasts on the butt every day. I put up with it for three thousand years; it told me to practice an unrivaled cultivation technique backward. I did that for three thousand years; it even told me to marry the old woman who swept the sect as my Dao companion. I obeyed for three thousand years. Then the System’s alert rang out: “Qualified Host detected. Possession procedure initiated, ” I smiled, gathering the “useless” spiritual power I’d accumulated over three thousand years at my fingertips. “Funny. I’ve been waiting for you to mature, too.” The moment the cocoon of light shattered, the entire cultivation world heard the System scream from the depths of the void.