The Cautious Snail

The night Qi Xiaogou got dumped, a bottle of fake Moutai sent him into the world of cultivation

where he became a white jade snail that couldn’t even beat an ant! A blood-red “Demolish” was carved into his shell, too! His slime could spray out The Art of Slacking Off at Work ✨

His shell-hiding technique triggered quantum invisibility.

Reflected light from his shell generated a graph of the housing market’s collapse.

System notification: “Forget cultivating immortality. Just stay alive and you win!” When the cultivation world’s prodigies came flying at him on their swords, shouting, “Die, insect!”

He slowly raised the middle finger he’d evolved after eating a transformation herb:

“Your sword is fast.”

“But my shell is harder.”

“And besides...”

His slime suddenly formed a 3D projection of a debt collector: “Your mortgage is due!” The Demon Venerable bore down, and the immortals fled in disarray.

He carried his shattered shell up to the summit of Mount Buzhou:

“This life

I’ll make everyone who ever trampled on the weak

hear a snail’s roar!”