Your Majesty, Please Put Away Your Big Blade

When assassins stormed Chengqian Hall, I was gnawing on my seventh braised pork knuckle. The imperial guards fell like dominoes, and the stench of blood mixed with the aroma of braised meat. It was quite intoxicating. My imperial husband, Xiao Jingyu, tumbled off the throne in fright, his face as white as paper. The leader in black swung his sword at him. In the blink of an eye, I kicked Xiao Jingyu out of my way, snatched the assassin's long blade with my bare hands, and swung it back. The flash of the blade was as fast as lightning. When I looked again, the assassin had been cut into eighteen perfectly even pieces, their edges still gleaming with a chilling sheen. The remaining assassins froze in place...