Want to Cultivate Immortality? The Quirky Kind!

Meng Yan transmigrates into a cultivation novel she once mocked, becoming a cannon-fodder junior sister who won’t survive three chapters. In the original story, jealousy drives her to stab the male lead through the heart with his sword. Now she decides to lie flat? No. She’ll use modern thinking to revolutionize the cultivation world: bring square-dancing brain rot to the Dao debates, invent “Laugh-and-Die” flavored pills in the alchemy furnace, and use image-recording stones to film a hit xianxia variety show that wins over millions of cultivators. When the Demon Lord’s army lays siege, she pulls out a megaphone and plays on repeat: “Lord Demon, you should get your mount’s hemorrhoids treated!” The righteous cultivators freeze in shock, while the Demon Lord suffers public humiliation and retreats on the spot. The Heavenly Dao crashes and sends a warning: “Abnormal variable detected...” Meng Yan smiles and brings up the System panel. “Dear, leave me a good review first, okay? Otherwise, I’ll livestream myself taking your program apart.” Later, a saying spreads through the three realms: Believe in Sister Yan, and you’ll attain immortality. The kind where you’re immortalized in public disgrace.