I Awakened the System and Took My Roommates to Hunt Monsters

You can joke about it on furry sites, but who didn't imagine being a monkey as a kid? Born with a hairy face and a thunderous jaw, a pointed mouth and sunken cheeks, golden eyes that see through fire, wearing a phoenix-winged purple-gold crown, clad in golden chainmail, with cloud-stepping lotus-silk boots, and wielding a Compliant Golden-Hooped Rod, about fifteen feet long and as thick as a bowl, that whirls like lightning. He could also perform seventy-two transformations and somersault 108,000 miles in a single bound. (This book is dead. Don't read it, dear readers.)