Guo Fenyang: I Help My Uncle Find Love

Andy told Guo Degang he wanted to invite the pretty summer-camp teacher to watch crosstalk, and the whole Deyun Society backstage erupted! Five-and-a-half-year-old Andy blocked the teacher, Guo Jia, with a summer-camp handbook and announced in his little-kid voice, “Which one will you pick, pretty teacher? My uncle Zhang Yunlei can sing ‘Searching for the River’ to lull you to sleep, and my big brother Guo Qilin has an eight-digit fortune to support you!” The moment he finished, he suddenly blushed. “Or maybe you should wait for me? When I grow up, I’ll definitely be more handsome than both of them!” Those astonishingly precocious words set the entire Deyun Society ablaze. Yue Yunpeng brought the Seventh Team and a stack of Wangzai milk to form a fan club, Luan Yunping whipped out a performance review sheet to calculate the odds of finding a partner, and Guo Degang even arrived with a full set of snacks and settled into the back of the classroom to watch. See how this star matchmaker, who can recite “Naming the Dishes,” uses her kindergarten diploma to wreck her martial uncle’s blind date, sets up so many matches that all the uncles in the sect start losing their hair, and turns the crosstalk compound into a live episode of If You Are the One! Somehow, I, a southern girl who can’t even tell one crosstalk robe from another, ended up being scrutinized in turn by a bunch of crosstalk “big brothers, uncles, and grandpas.” Now Guo Qilin and Guo Fanyang call me “Auntie” every day, and Zhang Yunlei is bringing roses to “perform” Taiping lyrics for me… Help! I just wanted a part-time job to pay my tuition!