Transmigrating to the Qing Dynasty, I Conquer the World with Machine Guns and Cola

Li Hong transmigrates as an unsuccessful scholar in the Daoguang era, and discovers that the Opium War hasn’t begun yet. The powerful in court force me to drink “foreign immortal water.” I whip out a cola instead: “Now this is the drink of happiness!” The capital’s elite become hooked on cola, and silver pours into the imperial treasury. Li Hong seizes the opportunity to build a new army. Machine guns mow down the Eight Banners cavalry, while ironclad ships crush British warships. On the walls of the Forbidden City, the young emperor tugs at my sleeve: “Imperial Father, who should we fight next?” Li Hong unfolds a map of the world and taps Hawaii: “First, let’s turn the Pacific into our own bathtub.” On the day the fleet crosses the ocean, a London newspaper runs a headline in Chinese: “A friendly reminder from the Great Qing expeditionary force: Bring toilet paper to use when you surrender.”