A Basketball Superstar Rewrites the Three Kingdoms: Ten Thousand Sharks March North

As Zhuge Liang studies the stars at night, he sees ten thousand Shaqs descend from the heavens.

After these six-foot-ten giants eat the Shu army's kitchens bare, they begin waging war with a basketball mindset:

They dunk their way through city gates, form human walls to block arrows like a moving Great Wall, and even scare off Sima Yi with a halftime performance of the Shaq Shuffle.

As the Shaqs bowl over Wei cavalry like bowling pins, Zhuge Liang waves his feather fan and falls into deep thought:

“Tactics? No. Now I'm just worried whether our military pay will stretch to enough hamburgers...”