I Lead My Sect in Beating Up the Cultivation World

(Transmigrating with my brother to cultivate immortality, a hilarious sect cultivation curriculum) The scalpel slipped from my fingertips, the surgical light went out, and I became the expressionless professor of the cultivation world. The plaque above the sect's main hall was hanging by a thread. An old white-haired man curled up beneath the offering table, his eyes full of longing. "Young friend, leave the offerings behind!" Flipping through the dust-covered Nine Revolutions Elixir Formula, I frowned. "The spiritual-energy circuitry is poorly designed, a classic case of intestinal obstruction." My brother hugged the alchemy furnace and trembled. "Sis, can this thing really be used for hot pot?" When I broke the elixir formulas down into multiple-choice questions, my master wailed, "Did I take on a disciple, or did I invite an ancestral spirit into my home?" Monthly exams, midterms, finals... Looking at the demons and monsters lined up outside the mountain gate to enroll, I silently opened my anatomy notes.