Cultivation: The Elders Have Gone Crazy Over Stocks

The System doesn't teach him meditation and qi cultivation. Instead, it wants him to turn the entire cultivation world into one giant stock market! Techniques, magic treasures, pills, spiritual veins, even elders' lifespans can all be packaged into stocks and traded!

And so, Qingyun Sect goes completely off the rails:

Elder Qingxu, a highly respected, otherworldly master in the late Foundation Establishment stage, watches candlestick charts every day, his heart pounding over tiny fluctuations in the [Sect Spirit Field Yield Index] and his arms waving wildly whenever the [New Prodigy Potential Stock] hits the limit-up.

The Law Enforcement Hall elder, usually impartial and stern, now frowns anxiously over the repeated limit-downs in the [Mountain Guardian Spirit Beast Fur Recycling Concept Stock]. He's even considering using his authority to intervene in the market (physically).

The Grand Supreme Elder, who has been in seclusion for a thousand years, finally emerges, not to break through, but because he heard that internal subscription shares for [Exploration Rights to an Ancient Cave Abode] are being issued. Afraid he'll miss the chance to get rich overnight, he hurries to the exchange with his cane.

The disciples have stopped cultivating too. They're all studying stock-trading theories, with talk of "rising volume and prices" and "death crosses and golden crosses" firing them up more than studying cultivation techniques. Sect missions are now a way to earn their first pot of gold, and they explore secret realms to get insider information.

Lin Feng, the platform's actual controller, watches these elders and disciples grow ever more obsessed with stocks. As spirit stones and contribution points pour in, he counts them and sighs helplessly: "I only wanted to cultivate in peace. Why did you have to turn life into a stock market?"

Also known as: "The Elders Have Been Acting Strange Lately," "Please Stop Trading, or the Sect Will End Up on the Rooftop," and "My Cultivation Depends Entirely on the Elders' Contributions (and Losses)."