I'm a Daoist Priest Now: Three Flowers Gather at the Crown from the Start

[The Old Shoe Repairman Suddenly Goes Mad in a Thunderstorm!]

"This Daoist has made it! Three Flowers Gather at the Crown! I'll stomp the threshold of the Southern Heavenly Gate to pieces!"

The despised shoe cobbler of Jinling City kicks open the gates of the immortal realm in his leaky cloth shoes. He smashes the Immortal Emperor's Heavenly Dao Mirror with an awl, then stuffs erguotou liquor and spicy snack sticks into the alchemy furnace.

"See that? This is a Drunken Heavenly Dao-Slaying Pill. Just the thing to cure those immortal officials of their airs!"

When the big shots of the immortal realm raise their jade scrolls and cry, "That's against the Heavenly Dao," he refines mortals' milk tea straws and square-dancing scarves into immortal artifacts. "Heavenly Dao, my foot! My Dao is the everyday warmth of the human world, rising to fill the sky!"

His little apprentice comes to confront him, clutching a purple-gold alchemy furnace. He flicks out half a bag of laundry detergent. "I told you when I taught you to wash diapers: a good pill needs a touch of the mortal world!"

Best of all, he has a college girl he picked up tucked in his arms. The cracks in her jade pendant conceal the Dao Bone he had cut from him five hundred years ago. So this girl is the final ingredient he needs to gather the Three Flowers once more!

[Ding! You have a new order from the immortal realm:]

"Immortal Venerable, a mortal cultivator used mahjong tiles to set up a spirit-gathering array and beat the gambling god of the Jade Pool!"

"Immortal Venerable, your Immortal Emperor livestream is flooded with comments saying 'There's a fish bone stuck between your teeth!' He's changing his ceremonial crown right now!"

"Immortal Venerable, the Buddhist Kingdom in the West says your hotpot base is polluting their sacred grounds..."

The old man crosses his legs and tosses cumin into the furnace. "Let them come. I could use the Eighteen Arhats as hotpot ingredients!"