"The first principle of staying safe: Keep at least one kilometer away from Naruto Uzumaki!
The second principle of staying safe: Play dead the moment you encounter the Akatsuki!
The third principle of staying safe: Never admit you know ninjutsu!
Kitano Shuichi follows these rules to the letter, but his System's rewards get more and more outrageous...
[Ninja Tool: Bubble Tea Launcher] gets Tsunade to quit drinking;
[Summoning Technique: Delivery Guy] gets mistaken by the Fourth Hokage for an illegitimate child of the Flying Thunder God;
After developing [Earth Release: Sofa Barrier Ninjutsu], Orochimaru asks him, "How do you lie flat with such grace?"
In the end, looking at himself begging to retire, with everyone in the Shinobi World behind him shouting, "Lord Kitano!", he sighs at the sky:
"I just wanted to be a lazy fish, but you forced me to become a god!"
He criticizes Itachi's clan massacre plan as too crude, only to receive an offer from the Akatsuki: "The Eye of the Moon Plan needs your sharp tongue!"
Madara Uchiha: So, you wish to dance?
Me: No, I want to clock out."
