Journey to the West: Oh No, I Woke Up as Taishang Laojun

[Not Primordial Chaos] [Funny Workplace Journey to the West] [No System] [Mostly Comedy] Rainy night, national highway, a heavy truck... After all these events had unfolded, Taishang Laojun, one of the strongest beings in the Chaos Heavens and the Chaos Dao Ancestor, obtained the memories of an unlucky transmigrator. The Journey to the West was unfolding just as he had planned, but sitting alone in the Tusita Palace all day was far too boring. After learning about these novel stories, Taishang Laojun decided to find himself some amusement. Laojun: “Monkey, go smash up the Celestial Court!” Sun Wukong: “Huh?” He masterminded the Havoc in Heaven and the Eighty-One Tribulations of the Journey to the West. He cleaned up old messes, helped the younger generation get promoted and advance their careers, and arrested immortals and gods across the Three Realms who broke the heavenly laws. He gave Sun Wukong a major upgrade, making him the foremost of the Five Emperors, the best-connected person in the Three Realms, and, in the future, the Ancestor of Ten Thousand Buddhas, a being above the Tathagata. He gave Yang Jian the Taiji Diagram, making him the supreme law enforcer of the Three Realms. He could execute first and report later, with the Dao Ancestor’s special permission. No need to care what the Jade Emperor thought. He gave Nezha the Heaven-Earth-Profound-Yellow Exquisite Pagoda, and Nezha turned around and suppressed Li Jing, upending the natural order. Once the Journey to the West began, the whole story changed. The Tathagata had planned to manipulate the Three Realms, only for all three realms to gang up on him. Tathagata: “What the hell is this?!” Tang Sanzang carried the Nine-Ringed Monk’s Staff he had used during the Havoc in Heaven at Spirit Mountain, wore the Brocade Kasaya that could repel all magic, and transformed into Fahai. Tang Sanzang: “Sorry, this monk doesn’t even eat noodles.” Sha Wujing, having learned how hard it was to be an honest man, became Sha Wujin, a ruthless killer who showed no mercy and killed without hesitation! Sha Wujing: “Looking across the supreme Three Realms, I’ve learned just one word: kill!” When the Journey to the West wrapped up and the rewards were tallied, Taishang Laojun took MVP, while Spirit Mountain was full of freeloaders who’d done nothing but coast to victory. The supreme Three Realms in this story will have some elements from Primordial Chaos and Black Myth. Read with caution if that bothers you.