The Little Mechanical Prodigy's Rise to Success in Ancient Times

A: “Hey, old pal, have you heard about that little terror from the Marquis of Yongan’s household?”

B: (cracking melon seeds) “Who hasn’t? She could translate the Analects into the language of the Western Regions at three, right after starting her lessons. Then she blew up the kitchen at the marquis’s residence during Lunar New Year when she was five!”

A: (slapping his thigh and laughing) “That’s nothing! You should’ve seen her at the Imperial Academy. She snapped three zither strings and drove her Go teacher mad!”

B: “Wasn’t she supposed to be a genius at music, Go, calligraphy, and painting?”

A: “That came later! Want to know how? It was all thanks to that icy young heir. He’d scold her with a straight face during the day, saying, ‘What kind of behavior is that?’ Then sneak off to tutor her at night!”

B: (waggling his eyebrows) “Ooh, childhood sweethearts?”

A: “You bet! But when the little terror went to the border at ten, the young heir followed her. They exposed conspiracies and fought enemy troops.

(lowering his voice) “I hear the childhood sweethearts were undefeated, winning countless battles for Great Liang.”

B: “And then?”

A: (smacking the clapper) “Well, then...”

Together: “See how the little demon conquers the imperial kitchens with hot pot, uses ingenious devices to improve people’s lives, and finally gets the icy young heir clutching The Thirty-Six Strategies for Winning Your Wife and crying, ‘Mercy, my lady!’”

(The audience roars with laughter, showering the stage with copper coins.)