Ne Zha: I Am Heaven's Number One Rebel

【Comedy + Absurdity + Primordial Heavenly Court】 Nezha: Halt! I am Nezha, Third Prince of the Heavenly Court, its number-one rebel… I mean, its number-one War God! Male demons to the left, female demons to the right. Everyone, get moving and do your radio calisthenics. Li Jing: Experience beats everything. I knew you’d try to sneak past me. Yin Shiniang: Li Jing, if you dare lay a hand on Nezha, I’ll put three holes in you with my blade. Erlang Shen: Brother Nezha, how about a deal? I’ll help you sneak past the guards, and you help me deal with the Jade Emperor. What do you say? Sun Wukong: Three eyes, little bellyband, come with me. Follow me and you can eat bananas and drink peach juice. That’s better than being the Jade Emperor’s dog… Nezha: “Monkey, let me tell you a secret. This is all part of a conspiracy…” The Matchmaker: Third Prince, please don’t make things difficult for this old man. Even if I set you up with someone, you wouldn’t know what to do with her… Tianpeng: Nezha, I hear your body’s made of lotus root. If I cut off a piece, will it grow back? Lend me a bit of root… Tathagata: Benefactor Li, you have a connection with the Buddha… Taiyi Zhenren: You’ve got some nerve, Tathagata, claiming he has a connection with you! Bah! I could just as well say Bodhisattva Guanyin has a connection with me…