Global Awakening: Bro, I’m Already Cultivating Immortality

[The full title of this book is: "Come on, man! I was cultivating immortality, and now you're telling me the whole population has awakened powers!"] [Or maybe: "I can't gain experience points, so I have no choice but to cultivate immortality!"] [Or perhaps: "Everyone else levels up by fighting monsters, while I'm the only one who can't level up!"] [A little background: the author wrote this book as a treat for himself, so, hehehehehe~] [The goal for this book: however many words it takes] [Urban] [Xianxia] [Absurd] [Wacky] [Memes] [Probably no female lead] My name is Fang Xiu. Xiu, as in "to the bitter end"! I am in terrible pain right now. I worked so hard to embark on the path of immortal cultivation, a road that defies heaven, but! Could somebody at least give me a heads-up, for crying out loud! I'm cultivating immortality, so why can all of you get experience points by killing monsters!!! In that case! Don't blame me! My grandpa, who's been with me through decades of cold and heat; the auntie who grows vegetables; the lady who sells breakfast; the old man who keeps breaking his noodles while stretching them; the uncle who can only grow sour fruit; and Erdan, who went down to the river to catch fish and got his little rooster pinched by a shrimp!!! Everyone! Give me a hand!!! A certain Demon King, who wished to remain anonymous: He came charging straight at me, absolutely determined, shouting something about family, friends, friendship, bonds, and then just barreled right into me!