Who Told You to Cultivate Immortality with a Cell Phone?

[Cyber Cultivation] [Raising a Girlfriend] [Turns Out I Was the Villain] “Gu Qian, you’ve gone too far. You deserve to die!” “Gu Qian, you good-for-nothing wastrel! Let Senior Sister Li go! She won't go with you!” “System, what are my odds of beating Gu Qian...?” “I am the reincarnation of the Demon Emperor. Surely killing a mere brat will be a piece of cake?” “Gu Qian, back then, I sacrificed my entire dynasty to conceal your identity as a demon, and you couldn't even thank me. Now that I've been reborn, I'll make you pay for that humiliation!” “Husband, let me help you!” Looking at the fury in the eyes of all the protagonists, Gu Qian smiled calmly. “I'll be honest: every one of you here is trash! You'll all be stepping stones on my path to immortality!” I was wrong. I really was. I can't beat this many protagonists! Heaven wants me dead! “Don't be afraid, Senior. I'll protect you until you become an immortal!” “Wait, you're... my girlfriend from that dating sim?” “Then what will you do? Wait another thousand years?” Su Youxuan: “So what if it's a thousand years? I'd wait ten thousand for you!” Gu Zhen: “Little bro, when did you get yourself a sister-in-law? Why didn't you tell your big brother? If you had, I wouldn't have gone easy on you. At the very least, have a kid before you ascend!” “...Who is she?” “It's over, it's over. How did trying to become an immortal turn into a love-triangle bloodbath? Just hear me out!”