Three Kingdoms: Old Cao, Why Are You Lying in the Pigsty?

Life in the city is full of tricks, so after graduating from college, Zhang Qing went back to his rural hometown to raise pigs.

One morning, as he went to feed them as usual, he was surprised to find a homeless man squatting in the pigpen, fighting the pigs for food.

"I am Cao Cao. My attempt to assassinate Dong Zhuo failed. Fund my campaign against him, and I'll make you a marquis and general one day!"

"Damn it, you're Cao Cao? Then I'm Cao Song!"

"You came to my pig farm to scam a free meal? I'll beat you until you can't have children!"

"Wait a minute, this place... Is it really the end of the Eastern Han dynasty? Are you... actually Cao Cao?"

From that day on, Zhang Qing and Cao Cao embark on a journey through time, starting with the campaign against Dong Zhuo as they vie to rule the realm.

No weapons to fight the Western Liang army? How about a hundred thousand tons of rebar? I'll throw in a hundred thousand pairs of yellow rubber boots and a hundred thousand hard hats!

Not enough provisions to fight in Hebei? Let's start with a hundred million boxes of instant noodles, then add a billion packs of compressed biscuits. See if that doesn't fill you up!

Can't get across the river to Jiangdong? I'll send them a million firecrackers and show those rats of Jiangdong what real cruelty looks like!

Yuan Shao clutches Gongsun Zan and wails, "The two of us together can't beat Zhang Qing and Cao Cao!"

Sun Quan kneels before Liu Bei. "If you won't reject me, Uncle, marry my mother. As long as you can stop that bandit Zhang and Cao the Thief!"

Liu Xie: "The realm is already unified. I might as well abdicate!"

Zhang Qing: "Cao Cao isn't in a hurry to become emperor, so why are you rushing to abdicate? I've still got ten thousand Italian cannons here, waiting to blast the Japanese island flat!"