Quick Transmigration: My Host Is a Lunatic!

I'm a quick transmigration System, and I picked a completely unhinged Host. I'm freaking out.

Someone accuses him of secretly filming them, so he slaps a pretty young woman until her face looks like a pig's, spits at her so she can use it as a mirror, then leaves her disabled and waiting for zombies to come by.

Someone says he ate two bowls of noodles. He claims he actually ate three, refuses to pay, and tells them to go look inside his stomach with their own eyes!

Transmigrate into a dog, and he gets to taste the legendary Nine-Turn Large Intestine!

Transmigrate into an alien, and he pilots a spaceship in a furious barrage of attacks.

In the martial world, he spreads the Sunflower Manual, starts a craze among eunuchs for practicing it, and treats the former martial arts leader like a dog.

In court, he insults the emperor in front of everyone and takes his entire clan up to the heavens!

Sometimes, he's the lord of a distant planet, leading his Smurfs away from their high-tech society and back to the manor era that's best suited to them.

Sometimes, he's the last zombie in the world, bearing the great responsibility of reviving his species.

With a Host like this, do you think I'll ever make it to the other side?