Pick Three of Eight in the Book Event: The Worst Weirdos All Get Sacrificed to Heaven

(Quick transmigration + No CP + Punishing scumbags + Mindless wish fulfillment + Lighthearted comedy) My name is Song Yicheng. It’s the “cheng” in “break your legs, then send you on your way.” I’m an ordinary college graduate who’s unemployed right after graduation, and I’m about to enter the food delivery business. I just took part in Xiaolvshu’s extreme “choose three out of eight” challenge: If you could have only three abilities, which would you choose? 1. Immortality 2. Dream control 3. Teleportation 4. Healing 5. Cloning 6. Laser eyes 7. Invisibility 8. Superintelligence Since I’m already smart enough to go bald, I chose “immortality,” “teleportation,” and “invisibility.” If I could use “invisibility” to evade the security guard at the entrance and “teleport” to a customer’s door to deliver their food in a second, who in the delivery business could compete with me? What’s more, “immortality” would let me keep working until the food delivery industry disappeared. The lifetime achievement award for food delivery would be mine for the taking. I’d barely finished planning my grand ambitions when a voice told me I’d already obtained those three abilities and achieved immortality across countless parallel worlds. But the unreasonable part was that it wouldn’t let me deliver food. I’d just finished signing up as a courier when it sent me to some parallel world. It said someone had traded her soul to bring me there to help her and save her. With no choice in the matter, I pretended to go along with it. In reality, I’d already started making food deliveries. This lady ordered peace, tranquility, and salvation, and I’ll deliver them right on time.