I Have My Own Brand of Crazy in Showbiz

[Showbiz + dating show + ridiculous jokes + wild rambling + punching and kicking] [Rebellious firecracker + cunning, scheming wolf] Lan Qianxun had the worst luck. She was stabbed to death just for telling a pushy salesperson to stop going on when she was getting her hair washed. She was stabbed a full eighty-one times, until she was full of holes. She thought she could be reborn, and was dancing on her own grave in celebration when the Black and White Impermanence told her they had arrested the wrong person. She was actually supposed to live to ninety-nine. What a raw deal! When she opened her eyes again, Lan Qianxun had become the cannon-fodder female supporting character in The Passionate Wife Is Red-Hot. The character had a miserable life: she was a hopeless doormat who worshipped the ground her man walked on, and a short-lived one who wouldn’t make it to thirty. Lan Qianxun decided that since she was here, she might as well go completely nuts. To get more buzz and land more gigs, she spilled little-known showbiz secrets during a livestream and even imitated Xie Ke, whose cake-eating video had recently gone viral. Naturally, she also got into a huge fight with a bunch of trolls. “Come on! If you’ve got the guts, crawl out of the screen and bite me!” “I get rabies shots every year. There’s no way your stinking mouths can kill me.” When fans of other celebrities insulted her in the comments on Weibo, Lan Qianxun fired back without holding back: “Send me your address. I’ll come find you right now and show you what danger looks like.” “Birds of a feather flock together, but people and dogs belong on different paths. Here’s some 1982 Longjing tea for you. May your love life, career, and stocks all stay in the red.” The livestream helped Lan Qianxun gain some buzz. She was invited to join the dating show Let’s Fall in Love. As soon as the show went live, the other guests greeted the audience warmly, while Lan Qianxun pointed her middle finger straight at the camera. “You little...”