The Second Year After I Died, My Mom Took My Ashes to Feed the Chickens

The second year after I died, my mom arranged National Day blind dates for me, one a day.

She called my best friend and told her I had to go on the dates.

My best friend told her I was dead.

My mom laughed, then cursed me out: “So you're pretending to be dead just to get out of a blind date?”

“Tell her she has to go, or I'll really pretend I don't have a daughter.”

“And warn her not to bring up that stupid business of hers again. Hasn't she embarrassed us enough already?”