My name is Liu Yiming. I was born on March 28, 1995, into a complicated family.
These days, it feels like my whole life is dark. I've grown increasingly distant. I have so much to say, but no one to talk to, so I keep it all inside.
It's as if there's so much hidden in my heart, a thousand things I want to say, but no one is willing to listen.
I'm lonely, but I'm afraid other people will notice, so every day I smile for no reason, hiding the truth behind my grin.
That's why people around me think I'm a weirdo, a monster, an outsider.
Only late at night do I let myself feel sad for a while, so I often can't sleep.
I feel like I'm fake and complicated, always doing strange things.
For example: “When I take the elevator, I use the stairs. If there's no other choice, I ride the elevator alone. I like going for bike rides by myself late at night, just wandering around. There's no one on the roads then, and it feels like I'm the only person left in the world.”
At the same time, I hate being lonely, and I love it.
When I'm unhappy, I like to shut myself in my room alone, thinking about all the little moments from the past, imagining all sorts of things, and listening to the music I love.
When I'm happy, I wander around, observing people. So people on the street look at me strangely, as if they're saying, “Is that person crazy?”
So I'm a strange person, an outsider, an outsider among humans.
Then I met so much light, and my life was filled with sunshine.
