If Someone Spits at Me, I Roll Up My Sleeves and Slap Them in the Mouth

Name: If Someone Spits at Me, I Roll Up My Sleeves and Slap Them in the Mouth
Author: On the Strings of the Clear Moon

别人朝我吐口水，撸起袖子扇他嘴

by On the Strings of the Clear Moon (清月弦上)

Status: Completed
Length: 480k Words
Genre: Modern Romance
Subgenre: Modern Romance High-Concept
Updated: 6mo ago
English: Request a translation

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Synopsis

[System + absurd comedy + unhinged antics + livestream]

Cheng Zhiyi is a fake heiress and a vicious supporting character destined for a tragic ending.

Then one day, she bonds with the High EQ System.

At a business dinner, her boss gives her a hard time: “Xiao Cheng, you came this late. Are you looking down on me?”

The snarky group: Old geezer, you’re done for. I’ve been practicing my scheming lately.

The food-in-your-teeth group: There’s food stuck in your teeth.

The unhinged group: Launch a fierce attack on him.

The doormat group: Stand on the table and sulk.

When someone tries to guilt-trip her,

The mutated group: Crawl creepily in the corner, transform into a zombie, and slap him across the face.

The unhinged group: Do a backflip beside him and chase him, kicking his butt.

The doormat group: Break down sobbing, beg him to stop talking, scream and writhe.

The clapback group: Life is dull and meaningless, so a toad critiques humanity.

To save her own skin, Cheng Zhiyi runs off overnight.

She sends out her resume and lands a job at the Bureau of Demon Management.

She becomes the bureau’s only human employee.

Her wealthy brother: Cheng Zhiyi has been spoiled rotten since she was little. It won’t be long before she comes crying to me for help.

But Cheng Zhiyi acts as if he doesn’t exist. She neither asks for help nor contacts him, and when they meet again, she politely calls him “Mr. Cheng.”

Her wealthy brother: ?!

Her top-tier star childhood sweetheart: Cheng Zhiyi is playing hard to get again. She’ll come looking for me before long.

But Cheng Zhiyi not only stops clinging to him, she blocks him. When they meet again, she introduces him as “the older boy next door I barely know.”

Her top-tier star childhood sweetheart: ?!

After getting drunk and being painfully rejected by her crush, Cheng Zhiyi blushes and leans close to his ear.

“Old geezer, say yes. I have a high EQ.”

Stats

301Chapters

44Reads · 30 days

105.7kReads · all time

8.7Score

9Listens

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Reader comments 50

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Everything else is fine, but there's one problem: the female lead was adopted from an orphanage by the Cheng family, making her a legitimate adopted daughter with legal inheritance rights. Didn't her former friends know this? Or did the Cheng family always claim she was their biological daughter?
22 likes2y ago
It's amazing! Who is the male lead? Is it Ying Xian or that Cheng guy's brother? Or just two guys? Ahhh, tell me quickly, it's so important to me! (Ps: I'm totally open to pseudo-incest 😫) Ahem, to give a serious review, judging from the later plot, I personally feel the female lead is too weak.
15 likes2y ago
No follow-up? (Looks up and down) (Coldly) Ha! (Smiles dismissively) Very good. (Swirls the wine glass) (Takes a sip) I've seen through your little trick. (A wicked smile plays on his lips) You were just trying to get my attention. (Coldly suppresses his smile) But there's a limit. (His eyes show three parts indifference, four parts expectation, two parts arrogance, and one part nonchalance) You'd better update soon. (Sneers) Don't force me to beg you on my knees. But it's really super good!!!
14 likes2y ago
The premise is appealing and feels similar to the Animal Control Bureau. The cases are hilarious, and the female lead's system options seem to have a lingering obsession with kicking hemorrhoids, which is a very interesting and memorable aspect. It's innovative within a certain context, and the female lead's mental state is quite relatable to modern audiences. Overall, it's a very good game.
10 likes2y ago
Looks good, I love it. (Parks the car) (Discreetly honks the Rolls-Royce horn) (Window rolls down) (Biting a rose) (Posing)
9 likes2y ago
So good! So good! So good!!! I hope the female lead doesn't go back to the Cheng family 😳🥰🥰
9 likes2y ago
It's so beautiful!!! I absolutely love the cute Zhizhi and the crazy Zhizhi! So mad, I love it so much!!! I'm so excited!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
8 likes2y ago
Very good. (Silently walks behind the author) (Takes out a small leather whip) (Presses against the author's chin) (Bends down) (Bubble voice) "Update quickly!" (Jumps away) (Spins around wildly) (Lies on the ground) (Jumps up) (Octopus hugs the author) Hehehe~ Update quickly! (Frantically licks face)
7 likes2y ago
The premise is fresh, funny, and enjoyable, but I hope Ying Xian isn't the male lead later on. I don't like him, even though he's the kind of sarcastic and arrogant guy, and he's quite nice to the female lead. The childhood sweetheart character seems too self-centered, which I also dislike.
7 likes2y ago
This book is really good. The plot is well-written, and the characters are well-developed, especially Cheng Zhiyi. She's straightforward, kind-hearted, and passionate—she can say she doesn't love someone and then just say she doesn't, which is really cool! Ying Xian is another great character.
6 likes2y ago