I Have a Disease. Its Name Is Immortality

It can be seen in Tomato 1. The longevity essay lacks the unique sense of vicissitudes. This article is a daily essay that intersects with immortality. 2. The writing skills need to be improved, and many scenes are too immature. 3. There is not much description between the orthodox traditions. The forces and world views of each party are revealed along the way with the protagonist. 4. The characters are not realistic and difficult to resonate with. 5. The author can look more at Yu Hua and improve the way he writes the knife. By contrasting the heartwarming scenes with the helpless scenes, he highlights the lack of despair and makes him feel a little more warm. (Personal feelings) It is written that one state protects mortals, while other states do not. This comparison is OK, but the description of other states is too little and does not highlight the uniqueness and greatness of Daozhou, which makes this comparison a bit tasteless. The aliens in the world of immortality are because they are different from other states. It is too straightforward to write directly. The pace obviously accelerated after the protagonist's second great sleep in Daozhou. This may be to highlight the running out of time in the world and thereby highlight the despair. However, this wave of accelerated pace makes the continuous sense of vicissitudes of life in Changshengwen out of touch. The emotional experience of the characters is too ideal, it's a novel, it's not a big problem After more than 100 chapters, it may be because the protagonist has few people with eyesight and almost no wisdom points. There will be problems later. Please pay attention. Generally speaking, it is a combination of daily sweet stories and immortality stories. I don't know if it is a debut novel, but it is a bit neither good nor good. The number of chapters is so small that I can't tell that there will be more. I look forward to the follow-up. (You can put some pictures appropriately, such as tide Tong's feet, Yuan Yao's face, etc., To attract readers. It's just a suggestion. It's definitely not what I want to see [shy] [shy] [smile])

Write well, I don't want to see only regrets in the end. The author can write about the protagonists and stimulate the readers. Now that they are immortal, they will be strong enough to reverse the entire time and space, and reverse all regrets like Emperor Huang Tian. They can reverse the long river of time in reverse order and forcefully enter other time and space to cause trouble. This is both passionate and can write a lot of things. Personally, I prefer you to turn time and space, you are so strong that you can reverse everything, but it still seems like yesterday. This feeling is very comfortable. Happy New Year to the author. I like the layout of Lala's novel world and Chen Dong's style very much, so I can learn from it. Big cheers for the author

The author wrote too quickly. I feel like it could be written in more detail. There are some holes that haven't been filled in yet. It would be nice if the relationship with the heroine could be written in more detail. The article is very well written, I recommend and support it! Five-star praise! [Laugh][Like][Like][Like][Love][Like][Like][Like]

It feels like the main plot is coming to an end. Although I don't care much about the plot, it's not bad [eat melon]. The main thing is this system (barrel tying). I really like it and it's novel. Later, when it was shown that barrel tying is not a system, the screen came up immediately. The other female protagonists and supporting characters are also good, but I hope to give tide Tong a good ending.

The content of this book is really well written [like] [heartfelt]. Unlike other longevity articles I have read, this book is more like a simple dialogue. Unlike other longevity articles, the protagonist has a very clear pursuit of cultivation. The protagonist of this book only cares about the land in his heart and the important people in him. Moreover, the characters in this book are very profound, and even the supporting characters have very three-dimensional images. He Mo, Xia Yu, Dong Ling, Qi Yao, etc. All have their own yearnings and pursuits. (I won't spoil the specific plot for now, it's very interesting to read [laughing evilly]) It's worth mentioning that this book is worth reading. Although there are some small knives in the front, it is filled in at the end, leaving few regrets. Thank you very much @Silingmu. Thank you very much for the extras you wrote. It basically made up for the regrets I had while reading the book.

It's very good, but it's too short. I feel like there are still a lot of things that haven't been written. After reading it, I felt a bit lost and confused [facepalm], and I hope the author will continue to work hard, and it's best to make a 2 that follows the plot of this one, because it's so good, I just gave it an emo after reading it in the past two days [Petrochemical] [Like] Please author, please follow the plot of this one and write a second one [please update][cry][grass has been planted]

It's great. It's different from other longevity articles. It doesn't focus on cultivation and fighting. Instead, it focuses on the sophistication between people. The purpose of the protagonist becoming stronger is not for revenge or invincibility, but just to go home. She's very capable in terms of emotions. It would not be an exaggeration to give a hundred stars in this regard. I hope that this quality can continue to be maintained in the future. Although I also hope to speed up updates, if you have to, don't give up quality for speed. [Send heart][Send heart][Send heart][Send heart] When Uncle Fang Si passed away, I was really close... That paragraph was really great, especially "That guy said he would definitely come, but he didn't even tell me..." As soon as this sentence came out, I almost couldn't hold back [crying]

I read the commentary from Chang Sheng Manga, it's pretty good.

Passed over, sad, sad (protagonist) The more I watch, the more I love watching, and I still want to watch (me) More and more updates, gradually slower, not enough to watch (Author) Q: What is dissatisfying about this book? Answer: The update is too slow, the article is too short, and it is not bearable to read [OK]

It is a very interesting book, the plot and character settings are also very interesting, and the logic is there. At the beginning, some parts of the writing felt a little flawed, and the monologues in some places were inappropriate. But it's harmless. The relationship between the male and female protagonists is also well grasped, and it won't be too sweet for now. Of course, I personally don't like the two female protagonists very much, but I have to say that the author's emotional control is pretty good. Another point is that there are a lot of knives. Of course, good immortality essays rely on knives, but to be honest, I feel that the author's knife is not sharp enough. Sometimes he cuts it once, and then does not write in depth, just skips it quickly. Sometimes he cuts it once, and then pulls out the knife and directly sutures the wound (simply put, it means not using the knife, but after a few strokes, or not using the knife, it will not take long to revive). To be honest, it is not painful enough [eat melon] [eat melon] [eat melon] And to be honest, the protagonist is set to be a genius, but his physique is a bit incompetent. Fortunately, it is basically only the protagonist's incompetence, which actually doesn't have much impact. But writing this way, the current combat power ceiling feels not enough for the protagonist to play, and the improvement is too fast. Also, I felt that Muzi was a little anxious later on, and the pace felt a little faster. I don't know if it was my imagination. But it's really good to watch and quite impressive. I stayed up all night watching 3/4 of it. It's almost 8 o'clock in the morning and I'm just getting ready to go to bed. I finally read the latest chapter. For me, the main problem is the two female protagonists. After the encounter, the protagonist and Xitong's intimate behavior was hard for me to watch. It felt like a cuckold. Anyway, I just skipped this plot. I still can't accept the setting of two heroines. Everything else is written very well.