Shocking! Is This Really the Primordial World?

It feels a bit inexplicable. The writing is disjointed and haphazard.

Writing a book is hard work, so I'll give you five stars as encouragement. But your book is really bad. After reading about ten pages, my head was a complete mess. The plot jumps too fast, and I couldn't understand the fight scenes at all. It ended before I even knew what was going on. There's no detail developed at all, and the characters are as naive as children.

There are many typos.

The writing is nonsensical and incoherent. The protagonist supposedly has saintly cultivation and a system... Then forcibly breaks off his relationship with the female lead, and then claims to have lived for over a hundred years in a previous life—it's all a jumbled mess of plot twists.

The idea is good, but the writing is a bit weak; it feels very chaotic. Two stories are suddenly put together, making it difficult to understand, and it's unclear which world you're trying to depict.

Good luck, I wish you success!

I don't understand, I don't understand

The first few pages were written quite well, but why did the rest become such a mess?

There aren't any major flaws, but it's too messy, all over the place. If you organize the outline properly, it could actually be done well.

To be honest, it's a bit chaotic and confusing.