You Call That a Healer? She Bludgeons Everyone to Death

Name: You Call That a Healer? She Bludgeons Everyone to Death
Author: Mu Huichun

你管这叫奶妈？她把人头都锤爆了

by Mu Huichun (暮回春)

Status: Ongoing
Length: 3.6M Words
Genre: Ancient Romance
Subgenre: Fantasy Romance
Updated: 3d ago
English: Request a translation

Read on Fanqie

Synopsis

The print edition of I Can Pluck the Stars is available on all platforms. Genius + rich woman from the start.

The day Ning Ruan left her village, a menace appeared on the Nine Provinces Continent.

A mage?

A sword cultivator?

No, she just wanted to be a healer!

All the continent’s geniuses: Shut up, you poisonous healer!

Later:

“Help! I never knew healers could heal people to death until I met Ning Ruan!”

“But isn’t she a metal-element spiritual adept?”

“Isn’t she wood-element?”

“She’s clearly water-element.”

“No way. I saw with my own eyes that she’s fire-element.”

“No, she has to be earth-element.”

“Ridiculous. She’s obviously a sword cultivator!”

“Isn’t she really a warrior? I saw her smash someone’s head with her fist...”

Ning Ruan: “Fine, I’ll come clean. A mage who doesn’t want to be a healer isn’t a proper sword cultivator!”

The whole point is that a healer can pick up a sword and kill enemies from a thousand miles away, while a mage can throw punches that each hit hard enough to kill.

Later still:

Ning Ruan discovered that there wasn’t a single normal person in her sect, except her.

Her irascible master was fiercely protective and loved picking fights.

Her eldest senior brother, a sword cultivator, had spent over a decade nurturing his sword but never used one.

Her second senior brother, also a sword cultivator, killed with every strike. No one survived his blade.

Her third senior brother, the king of keeping a low profile: he had to put dozens of layers of defensive formations around even the toilet. When other people kept one trick up their sleeve, he kept a hundred. What a nutcase.

Her fourth senior brother, the king of slacking off: only spirit stones could get him to move without complaint. The rest of the time, even breathing felt exhausting to him. What a nutcase.

Her fifth senior brother was a loner who said little but hit hard, and the longer he fought, the fiercer he became.

Her seventh senior brother was a cultivation maniac who wanted to outdo everyone and leave his fellow disciples in the dust. He cultivated every waking moment.

Later still:

Ning Ruan also discovered that the novice village where she’d grown up was actually a gathering place for powerful figures.

Her adoptive fathers were all top-tier big shots who’d get struck by lightning the moment they left the village.

Ning Ruan: “You wouldn’t understand the joys of being a second-generation cultivator!”

Other names

I'm a Mage and a Healer. Using Seven Swords Isn't Too Much, Right?我法师加奶妈，用七把剑不过分吧Alternate title on Fanqie

Stats

1.7kChapters

213.5kReads · 30 days

10MReads · all time

18kShelves

9.5Score

8 ch/weekPace

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Reader comments 158

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This book is definitely going to be a huge hit! It's so interesting! The female lead is incredibly vengeful and a rich woman, and the male disciples are all very distinctive. (Personally, I hope it's a no-romance story, just the female lead being beautiful on her own.) Keep updating, author! ❤️
1.3k likes3y ago
It's good, but the author didn't even mention the Sixth Senior Brother in the introduction. His lack of presence shocked me once again! 🤦🤦
875 likes3y ago
Ning Buran's most frustrating moment is when she can't eat good food, which is exactly what a satisfying female protagonist in a wish-fulfillment novel should be like. The author's main plot is also quite well written, from the small world to the human race's main world, from conflicts between races to the unity of various races against external enemies.
476 likes3mo ago
This is definitely a satisfying read! It even has some originality, so it's worth reading! And it truly delivers on its promise of enjoyment; the female protagonist is like playing a hacked, infinitely modded game—limited wealth, unlimited weapons, unlimited items, and unlimited combat power that can be summoned at any time without restriction. A truly invincible and satisfying read!
419 likes3y ago
The female lead is a bit of a "pretending to be weak while actually being strong" type; she's at the peak of her skill level from the start. She's not a saint, ruthless, and doesn't talk much, making for a relaxed read. There are basically no major flaws; she doesn't need to rely on others at all. Her character design and personality are also very likable, unlike other female leads in similar novels—they're not all the same.
385 likes3y ago
It's great! Ever since I read Ye Langlang's book, I haven't been able to get into the others (they all feel formulaic), but this one is different! It's a shame there aren't enough chapters 😢 I'm begging you, author, to update with more chapters! This is my first time reviewing a book! 😢😢❤️
358 likes3y ago
This book is quite good and seems to have potential. So far, I like it. The plot is relatively novel, with some silly and funny elements. The female lead's quirky behaviors are frequent, and her casual displays of wealth are really hilarious.
331 likes3y ago
It's great, I really like it. I also love the female lead's character; she's decisive, doesn't waste words, isn't a saint, and is rich. I love that feeling of "you can't stand me, but you can't do anything about it." It's rare to see a character get revenge in the very first chapter. I really enjoy it. It's just that there aren't enough updates yet. I'll accumulate more chapters later. I hope it doesn't fall apart later on.
242 likes3y ago
I really like it. The female lead's counterattack is especially satisfying. She spends all sorts of rare and precious resources until her hands are sore, it's so satisfying to throw money around. She also has a bit of a "pretending to be weak while actually being strong" vibe. The pacing is also quite fast, so it's not frustrating to watch. It's just that there aren't enough episodes yet, please update soon! 🥰
218 likes3y ago
Let's be frank, I'm just so envious of the female lead's powerful connections, okay? It's so awesome! Our little village is incredibly impressive. Our female lead perfectly embodies the saying, "Nothing is impossible. If there is, it's because there's not enough money. As long as you pay enough, it's all possible." I refuse to believe anything is impossible! It's so awesome, so good!
198 likes3y ago