Eerie: A Celestial Master's Notes

If I’d known they had hired someone else too, I absolutely wouldn’t have come. But since I was already here, I figured I might as well learn a thing or two from a fellow practitioner. I stood by the gate to the villa courtyard, staring with a strange expression at the Daoist priest ahead of me, who was waving his sword around. Several times, I barely managed to keep from bursting out laughing. The priest was stout, dressed in a yellow Daoist robe. As he drew a talisman, he recited, “Round is Heaven, square is Earth. By the nine celestial laws, as I write this now, may ten thousand ghosts be hidden away.” Good grief, he’d drawn the Thunder Command at the head of the talisman. It had absolutely nothing to do with the incantation he’d just chanted. And never mind the Thunder Command, he’d also added three check marks. Three checks were the symbol of the Three Pure Ones, representing the Three Pure Ones themselves. But that wasn’t even the funniest part. On the talisman’s doorway, he’d written, “The Great General King is here.” Anyone who knew better would realize he was exorcising evil. Anyone who didn’t might think he was trying to capture a zombie. “Pfft!” I just couldn’t hold back my laughter. As the saying goes, if you draw talismans without knowing the method, you’ll only make the ghosts and gods laugh. But if you know the method, you’ll make them cry out in shock. Since ancient times, there have been many different schools of talismanic arts, each worshipping its own founder and following different traditions. That’s why the heads of their talismans and their secret symbols vary. The talisman head might bear an Edict or a Thunder Command, for example, while the secret symbol might be three checks or some other sign. But this portly Daoist was something else. He’d studied a dozen schools of magic, then founded his own by combining elements from all of them. Hahahaha. “What are you laughing at?” The fat man finished drawing a talisman that was good for absolutely nothing, picked up a peachwood sword, and walked toward me.