I Paid Ten Billion to Have the Gods of All Realms See You Off

Want a mysterious past that inspires awe? Want your utterly ordinary life to leave people with endless room for speculation when you’re on your deathbed? Pay 20,000 yuan At your funeral, I’ll... [Arrange an unlicensed Hongqi sedan. Ten men in black suits and sunglasses, carrying umbrellas and wearing unlimited-range Bluetooth earpieces, accompanied by a beautiful woman in black struggling to hold back her tears. They watch in silence, then bow deeply.] Pay ten billion yuan and your funeral will... [Feature a tomb dug for you in the void by Pangu] [A coffin made from the sacred parasol tree where the phoenix once perched] [The Nine Dragons will pull your coffin and lay you to rest for all eternity] [The Mysterious Maiden of the Ninth Heaven will descend to play the suona for you] [All the gods and Buddhas will chant sutras to guide your soul to the afterlife] [A wreath made from rare and precious materials] [A piece chipped from the sacred stone transformed from the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, forged into your tombstone] Whatever funeral service you want, the Six Realms Funeral Home can make it happen! Pay up! Live an ordinary life, then go out in a blaze of glory!