Crucial Conversations: How to Communicate Effectively (Original Book 2Nd Edition) (Collector's Edition)

①Don't take it for granted. The biggest problem with communication is that people take it for granted that they have communicated. ②Always be clear about your purpose and don't be swayed away from it. ③ Pay attention to maintaining a sense of security and act appropriately. Respect others. ④Based on the facts, do not make hasty judgments and pay attention to your wording. ⑤Don't be controlled by emotions, stop and slow down the progress. Feelings are created by your own thoughts. ⑥ Pay attention to listening. Paraphrasing does not mean repeating what the other party said verbatim, but briefly explaining what you understand in your own language. ⑦ If you have any questions, ask them immediately. Keeping them in your heart will only increase the unnecessary trouble. ⑧Reflect more on yourself. I examine myself three times a day. Have the courage to take responsibility and don't just complain. ⑨ "Everyone is responsible, which means no one is responsible."

This book taught me how to grow from a conversational enemy to a conversational master. Many times, when we encounter communication obstacles, we always let our emotions influence our judgment. We either attack the other party out of anger, or feel unable to communicate with the other party and choose to remain silent. As a result, we forget the true goal of our communication. We don't know how to establish a safe communication atmosphere. Many times we are aggressive because we think we are justified, trying to prove how wise and correct our views are, but ignoring the other party's inner feelings. Therefore, the first thing we need to do is to start from the "heart", clarify the purpose of the dialogue, always remember the purpose of the dialogue, and use our brains to find healthy ways to achieve dialogue.

How to communicate and express yourself better is an ability that makes yourself and others better and better. They all insist on long-term learning. It is very important and worth learning to maintain a sense of security in the conversation and mutual respect between both parties.

I learned about this book through Fan Deng. A failed conversation with a friend abroad always remains fresh in my memory. This incident will appear repeatedly in my mind. I feel hurt inside and want to know how to resolve the conflict as perfectly as possible and complete the conversation when facing an unfriendly conversation next time. After reading this book, I feel it is very helpful to me. What we should pay attention to should not be the existence of wrong behavior but the absence of correct behavior. This book gave me an example of correct behavior. Start from the heart, pay attention, stay safe, control your thoughts, state your point of view, understand your motivations, and start taking action. If you make appropriate and correct improvements in each link, your failed conversations will be much more likely to become successful.

How to deal with intimate relationships? We all care about each other, but we always control each other unconsciously and cause harm to each other. No one can listen to anyone else's point of view, and we reach a deadlock. The result is cold and violent treatment. I don't believe it is a personality incompatibility. It must be a communication problem, but we can't find a way.

After reading this book, I have a few small insights that I would like to share. First, with greater ability comes greater responsibility. We know more people, and people with higher cognition are bound to take on more things that affect others. Second, the more proactive a person is, the more he takes the first step to change and act, the more he can control his own life. Third, most people are ordinary and mediocre people. In essence, as long as they are people you can come into contact with, no matter who they are, their overall strength and character are similar. Therefore, what kind of person the other person is and how they treat you depends to a large extent on you. Fourth, everyone has evil thoughts, and there are many people who make other people's thoughts into evil. So no matter how you behave, don't characterize or label yourself.

With the rapid development of artificial intelligence, the pressure experienced by humans has also increased exponentially. In this highly stressful pace of life, how to nourish our interpersonal relationships and how to form new and better problem-solving abilities is undoubtedly becoming more and more urgent. The author of this book systematically and comprehensively tells us how to express our opinions more clearly and efficiently in our daily life and work, so as to better improve work efficiency and promote teamwork.

Master the art of communication and achieve efficient dialogue. How to achieve efficient communication? The most critical are "crucial conversations": those in which viewpoints differ, are fraught with risks, and have high stakes for both parties. First, in critical conversations, people are often easily swayed by emotions and deviate from the original purpose. For example, when discussing project plans with colleagues, you may get into quarrels due to disagreements, forgetting that the common goal is to find the best solution. Only by keeping the purpose of the conversation in mind can you remain rational in heated discussions. Secondly, when the conversation atmosphere becomes tense and hostile, communication is often difficult to continue. At this time, you need to detect it in time and take measures to improve the atmosphere, such as pausing the conversation, admitting mistakes, expressing respect, etc. For example, in a family quarrel, if one party finds that the atmosphere is not right, one party can take the initiative to apologize, ease the tension, and create conditions for continued communication. In addition, during the dialogue, make the other party feel respected and understood, and avoid criticism, accusations and attacks. By using comparative explanations, you can express your own opinions without hurting the other person's feelings and ensure a safe dialogue atmosphere. Also, the most important thing is to control emotions. When people are emotional, they are prone to impulsive actions and words, which can destroy key conversations. Emotions can be controlled by taking deep breaths and changing the way you think. For example, when faced with a provocation, don't fight back immediately. Instead, calm down first and think about the other person's starting point and whether your response is appropriate. [Three core questions] 1. How to identify key conversations? : Conversations in which the conversation is important to oneself or others, in which the participants are emotionally charged and in which there are large differences of opinion. 2. How to stay rational during critical conversations? : Focus on the purpose of the conversation, control emotions, and communicate based on facts. 3. How to reach consensus in key conversations? : Don't avoid conflicts, actively listen to each other's expressions, respect each other's views, and work together to find solutions.

This book provides a reliable way for communication between people. Communication is not the purpose, but a way to achieve effective results. Your sincerity will be exchanged for sincerity, just like the sound of mountains and valleys. So the first thing to change is your own emotional control and goal orientation.

After reading this book, I think the key dialogue is the dialogue that we need to solve various problems. First of all, you must keep in mind the purpose of your dialogue, and do not deflect your purpose due to emotions and other issues generated during the dialogue. Secondly, you must establish a safe dialogue environment so that the other party feels respected and the dialogue continues. Finally, through the comprehensive statement method, we can understand the other party's thoughts and motivations, so as to formulate corresponding strategies. , To achieve the purpose of solving the problem. After reading this book, I feel that he is a good helper in dialogue. Of course, the biggest impact on me now is that when I feel emotional or physical discomfort during the dialogue, I immediately realize what my purpose is. According to what is said in the book, it may not work in every conversation. I believe that using the thinking methods mentioned in the book for a long time will really have a positive effect in our conversations.

This book taught me how to grow from a conversational enemy to a conversational master. Many times, when we encounter communication obstacles, we always let our emotions influence our judgment. We either attack the other party out of anger, or feel unable to communicate with the other party and choose to remain silent. As a result, we forget the true goal of our communication. We don't know how to establish a safe communication atmosphere. Many times we are aggressive because we think we are justified, trying to prove how wise and correct our views are, but ignoring the other party's inner feelings. Therefore, the first thing we need to do is to start from the "heart", clarify the purpose of the dialogue, always remember the purpose of the dialogue, and use our brains to find healthy ways to achieve dialogue.

No dialogue is the only way to solve problems, but the purpose of dialogue is to find ways to solve problems for yourself and others. Paying attention to the essence of things and taking them seriously is the prerequisite for solving problems

I am a person who is afraid of communication, but it is ok among friends. The idea that reducing communication can reduce conflicts made me frustrated in society. I turned to look for books that could improve my communication problems. Now I have the confidence and ability to dare to communicate with others. What is my purpose? What is the other party's purpose? Pay attention to observation, create a safe atmosphere, and communicate comparatively. Don't be afraid of frustration, and put the methodologies provided in this book into practical action through subconscious practice.

The author uses real cases and vivid stories to make these skills easy to understand and easy to learn. I think this book is similar to "Nonviolent Communication" in that they both emphasize the importance of effective communication. Moreover, I especially like the part about teamwork mentioned in the book, which reminds me of the scripture-seeking team in "Journey to the West". Each character has its own characteristics and functions, and only by cooperating with each other can success be achieved. This book is not only suitable for professionals, but also for communication in daily life. Recommended to everyone!

What I said was really right and nothing wrong. There really is truth and reason. I'm really impressed! Thank you all!

I only read roughly the first time. If you want to get the essence of this book, you need to read it several times and practice.

The author explains it in simple terms, first expounding the theory, then using cases to demonstrate, and finally summarizing the theory. The structure is clear and the content is rich. To deal with critical conversations, it's nothing more than staying calm, making sure your words are based on facts, asking the other person's point of view, and encouraging the collection of opinions.

This is the second time I have read this book. In the past few years when I have been working, I have always failed to express my thoughts well in words during key conversations. I always think of how I should have dealt with this incident after the fact. It's getting better now, but for me, communication is still a language structure that needs to be honed over a long period of time.

Reading this book requires slowly savoring some unique perspectives, which are worth owning and thought-provoking.

Benefited a lot! Worth reading multiple times and thinking more deeply!

A very good book, recommended

Very good! The content is very common, the key is how to change the conversation!

It's a very practical book. You'll find practical skills that will make you change after reading it. I'm ready to read it a second time.

It's very rewarding and I will listen to the book selectively over and over again.

The author team of this book is actually a training team, mainly training people how to communicate efficiently. They compiled their training experiences into books and published them, and the valuable experiences in them are of great practical value. Because efficient communication can not only improve work efficiency, but also make the work atmosphere relaxed and pleasant, and reduce redundant content. Why not do it. I have gained a lot after studying, and I will put it into practice at work immediately. I hope to make progress!

After reading this book, it helped me a lot. If we have communication troubles or dialogue troubles in our lives, I highly recommend you read this book. It will provide you with a lot of help and solutions.

Improving knowledge helps a lot

A lot of things are the same

Pay more attention to the conversation and create a safe atmosphere.

Good book, every speech in life is a key dialogue