Urban: The Breakup Expert

Zhang Yang is a radio host who's about to lose his job. After getting the Breakup Bliss System, he spends all his time breaking up other people's relationships.

Listener: I love him so much. Why is he treating me like this?

Zhang Yang: If I were him, I think I might slap you to death.

Listener: Why?

Zhang Yang: It's obvious he only wants to buy retail, but you're insisting on selling wholesale. How could he handle that?

Listener: Zhang Yang, you're a scumbag.

Zhang Yang: There are many kinds of scumbags, and I'm already at the top of the scumbag food chain. You'll never even see my back.

Zhang Yang's wife: I'm so tired.

Zhang Yang: Oh, you still have the nerve to complain about being tired? You went shopping all day without letting me come along! Hurry up and shower, take off your clothes, and I'll wash them with the ones you wore yesterday. And don't get the floor wet. I just mopped it... Actually, do whatever you like. I'll mop again later. The food's in the pot. Don't drink cold water... I've hung up the clothes you'll need tomorrow...

Zhang Yang: Anyway, where were we? Let's carry on...

Listener: ...

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.