I, the Messenger of Justice in Journey to the West

"Buddha, this is bad! All our Bodhisattvas and Arhats have been beaten down. Lu Hao is coming up!"

"Buddha, there's a silver lining. Lu Hao, the enforcer of the Three Realms, has taken a liking to Bodhisattva Guanyin!"

"Buddha, Lu Hao left Guanyin halfway there and ran off. He said he'd come back tomorrow!"

Buddha patted the boulder beneath him and asked, "What happened?"

"Lu Hao said... one isn't enough. Please prepare a few more!"

Buddha rubbed his shiny, freshly shaved head. "Hurry and invite the Jade Emperor..."

"Buddha, the Jade Emperor is his big brother!"

Buddha roared, "Tell him to come back! I'm willing to give myself to him!"

Bodhisattva Samantabhadra stammered, "Buddha, you're a man!"

The Tathagata Buddha pondered for a moment...

Then looked down at his lower half...

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Please do not imitate.