Journey to the West: None of My Disciples Are Human

A headline blares: "Shocking! A struggling freshman surnamed Tang encounters a paranormal event and transmigrates overnight!"

Here is the account from the person involved:

"Thanks to the media for taking an interest. I still can't believe it. I actually transmigrated!

But before I could recover from transmigrating, I was told I had to make the Journey to the West! They even foisted a few troublesome guys on me, saying they were my disciples.

The one with the yellow hair is my first disciple, a delinquent who just got out of prison. If he can solve something with his fists, he won't waste time talking...

The gloomy guy who's always staring at the moon is my second disciple, a tenured professor at the Central Academy of Drama Queens...

The poker-faced one with an ice-cold personality is my third disciple. He always looks like I owe him millions...

Fortunately, my fourth disciple is relatively normal...

Forget it, forget it. There are so many versions of Journey to the West, what's one more?

I thought I'd memorized the whole script inside out, so getting through these mere eighty-one trials should be easy. But why is this plot completely beyond the Three Realms and nowhere in any version I've seen?

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.