Journey to the West: I'm Sun Wukong, and I Scam My Way to Sainthood

Nuwa Creates Humans and attains sainthood; Pangu proves the Dao through strength; Hongjun's disciples become saints by severing the Three Corpses; my Sun Wukong is even more impressive: I became a saint by playing the victim.

Taishang Laojun: "Great Sage, please come out."

Sun Wukong: "Give me that Vajra Bangle you used to ambush me with, or Old Sun isn't leaving this Eight Trigrams Furnace. It's pretty warm in here anyway."

Tang Xuanzhuang: "Disciple, hurry and come out. I've already removed the seal on Five-Finger Mountain."

Sun Wukong: "Let that old Tathagata come invite me himself, and have him bring his alms bowl as a gift. Otherwise, Old Sun will live here forever. The molten iron and copper juice taste pretty good anyway."

Guanyin: "You mischievous monkey, your master has already been boiled by a monster. How can you still be here fooling around with a she-monkey?"

Sun Wukong: "You old hag, that carp spirit is your disciple. You failed to discipline her and let her escape. What punishment do you deserve?"

Guanyin: "You mischievous monkey, you... Why are you staring at my Jade Vase... You..."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.