My System Is Shit

Zhang Kuang kindly rescued an old Taoist priest, but the old Taoist priest took out a piece of black shit and stuffed it into him. Unexpectedly, this piece of black shit is actually a super divine object called Heixiang System! As long as you complete the tasks released by the system, you can obtain various weird and awesome treasure prizes: The Goddess's Aunt's Scarf - Known as the most powerful face-slapping weapon in history, it can immobilize the enemy for ten thousand years if it is hit on the face! Dichlorvos Potion - Known as the most powerful pretentious artifact in history, one sip will make you energetic, two sips will make all enemies bow, and three sips will make you have no friends! Makeup removal technique - known as the most powerful and obscene magic hand in history, with a wave of your hand, you can come and go naked! The Fart Exploding Technique - known as the most powerful combat skill in history, can shatter stars with one fart, and kill immortals and gods with a series of farts! Crazy medical skills - known as the most powerful magic hand magic in history, punching colds, fevers and headaches, kicking impotence and early ejaculation of flowers and willows! Since getting the Heixiang system, my mother has been worried that Zhang Kuang will bully others again... This novel and its characters are purely fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental and should not be imitated.