Evolution Begins with the Honey Badger

I'm a honey badger, a battle-crazed maniac!

I'm either fighting or on my way to a fight.

I don't mean anything else by it. I just want to say, you're all **.

A fight? Don't tell me who I'm up against or how many there are. I only want to know when and where.

The leopard cries: "That guy's back again! Everybody, hide!"

The lion: "Tuck your tail between your legs, bury your head in the sand, and keep repeating, 'You can't see me, you can't see me, you can't see me.'"

The elephant weeps: "Last time I arm-wrestled you, you broke my bones!"

The turtle sobs: "That guy sat on my shell and crushed it!"

The whale can't believe it: "I can't believe I lost to a honey badger at swimming!"

The eagle: "Why can that honey badger fly freely, and even faster than me? I have to learn from it."

System: "Don't hit me! I'll shut up, okay?"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.