I’m Really Not a Quack Doctor

Doctor, I have a cold and a runny nose.

Quack: Let's do a full-body checkup, draw some blood, and run an ultrasound and a CT scan.

Shock value +10

Doctor, I have a slight fever and a headache.

Quack: Take off your clothes. I'll open up your skull in a bit and see what's causing it.

Shock value +100

Doctor, the baby is too big. I really can't give birth!

Quack: If you can't give birth, we'll find another way. Spit it out through your mouth!

Shock value +1000

The Strongest Quack System: One dose, and you're cured of... your illness!

I'm a new author with a new book. Please add it to your collection, leave comments, and send flowers.

P.S. The earlier plot isn't trying to capitalize on a national crisis. I'd planned it long ago and even made a round of revisions. I originally wanted to write about a popular virus, but in the end I had no choice but to make it an infectious disease. This story and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.