The Strongest Quack Doctor System

Doctor, I've caught a cold and have a runny nose.

Quack: Let's do a full-body checkup, bloodwork, an ultrasound, and a CT scan.

Fear +10

Doctor, I have a bit of a fever and a headache.

Quack: Take off your clothes. I'll open up your skull in a moment and see what's causing it.

Fear +100

Doctor, the baby is too big. I really can't give birth!

Quack: If you can't get it out that way, we'll try another route. Spit it out through your mouth!

Fear +1000

The Strongest Quack System: We guarantee our medicine will cure your... life! I mean, your illness!

A new writer with a new book. Bring on the criticism, insults, and snark!

P.S. The earlier plot wasn't trying to capitalize on a national tragedy. I had planned the story a long time ago, and even revised it specifically for this. I originally wanted to write about a viral epidemic, but in the end I had no choice but to make it an infectious disease.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.