I'm a Bit Stumped by This Dao I've Comprehended

I went to the bathroom and attained enlightenment.

What the heck?

Better have a cigarette to calm my nerves! I attained enlightenment again!

All right, this is a peaceful world, so that's not much use. Making money is more important.

I went out to sell insurance, and holy crap! I attained enlightenment again!

Now that's awesome, and I'm only getting more awesome by the day!

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.