Ninjutsu? Easy. One talisman is all it takes to break it. Taijutsu? I know every Chinese martial art. Tailed beasts? One string of prayer beads will take care of you. Hauntings? I'll use a copy of the Great Sun Tathagata Sutra to send you off. Tsukuyomi? I know the Mind-Clearing Mantra. Orochimaru? I'll beat him until he calls Jiraiya "big brother." The Akatsuki? I'm their boss. Uchiha Madara? I'll beat him silly. Vampires and werewolves? They're only fit to be my servants. I'm Chinese, and this work will not feature abilities from other anime.
This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.
Hey, can anyone write a book?