Journey to the West: Making Up the Beginningless Sutra to Trick Wukong Into Ascending to a Heavenly Immortal

After transmigrating as an apprentice under Patriarch Bodhi, Ji Huai activated the "Bullshit Cultivation Technique System." By making up cultivation manuals and tricking characters from Journey to the West into changing their fates, he could reap massive rewards. From the start, he ran into Sun Wukong carrying water and chopping wood. Ji Huai immediately tossed out the concept of the Wu Shi Scripture, stolen from an online novel: "Sea of Bitterness, Dao Palace, Four Poles, Dragon Transformation, Immortal Terrace. Master them all, and you can punch even a sage into the ground!" Sun Wukong fell to his knees and returned to his cave to cultivate all night. To his surprise, he carved a Sea of Bitterness out of his navel, crossed a divine bridge to the other shore, and transformed his spine into a dragon that soared to the heavens. He shot from an ordinary monkey to the Celestial Immortal realm.

When Patriarch Bodhi lectured on the Great Dao, the monkey spent the whole time picking his ears and yawning. "The Patriarch's teachings aren't worth a single hair on Senior Brother's head." Furious, Bodhi tapped his head three times with a staff, hinting that he'd pass on the teachings at midnight. Sun Wukong turned around and went straight to Ji Huai to sit in on his lessons. "Senior Brother, I've hit a wall at the Celestial Immortal realm. Teach me some more, will you?" Ji Huai casually made up a passage about chaotic visions to fob him off, but Sun Wukong's astonishing comprehension let him achieve instant enlightenment on the spot. The System frantically flashed: "Journey to the West main quest deviated by 40%. Reward: 1 Chaos Bell phantom!" Patriarch Bodhi sat waiting all night for the monkey to show up. At dawn, there wasn't a hair in sight. He was so furious he smashed his meditation cushion. "Who ran off with that monkey?!"

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.