Marvel: With Saitama's Talent, I Crush Dormammu

After transmigrating to Marvel, Xiao Hai joins S.H.I.E.L.D. During a mission, he touches a wooden statue of the Bald Caped Hero and gains the "Constant Proportional Growth" talent: no matter what he trains in, every improvement is as great as the first, and he will never hit a bottleneck. A month later, his marksmanship is so good that bullets curve, he can punch a brown bear flying, and he can crush a satellite phone with his bare hands.

Melinda and Black Widow lead a pursuit. Xiao Hai leans close to Natasha's ear and says, "If I really wanted to kill you, you'd be dead in three seconds." Then he crushes Fury's encrypted phone and warns that if S.H.I.E.L.D. sends anyone else after him, he'll post all their dirty secrets online.

By day, he trains with Wolverine. By night, he hacks into Stark Industries to argue with Tony. One day, he casually shares a ternary AI concept, and three days later Tony builds JARVIS. The whole internet goes wild. Mister Fantastic and Princess Shuri are both asking on forums, "Where can we find this genius kid?" Tony rages at the screen: "Did you seriously go off to learn magic?"

At 117A Bleecker Street, Xiao Hai walks into the Sanctum Sanctorum and tells the Ancient One why he wants to become her disciple: "I want to live longer." The Ancient One falls silent for three seconds. "You're the most honest coward I've ever met."

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or events is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.