I'm a Tauren Shaman, and I'm Enrolling at Hogwarts!

Harry Potter, tribal shaman and seer, Tauren hero. After defeating the Burning Legion, he returns to the year he was eleven. His body has shrunk, but his shamanic powers remain. Uncle Vernon charges at him to beat him up. Harry yanks the Earth's Shield straight out of a load-bearing wall, and half the house collapses on the spot.

Dumbledore arrives and sees a concrete giant standing amid the ruins. His eyes light up. Harry sighs. "The elements in this world are so sluggish. I can't draw on their power, so I had to tear down your wall instead."

The Hogwarts admission letter arrives. Harry asks Dumbledore, "Does the school accept Tauren? I know I look human, but my horns haven't grown in yet." Snape sees the news in the paper, storms into the headmaster's office to berate Dumbledore, and the old man cheerfully offers him a sugar pudding.

When Voldemort is resurrected, the entire Hogwarts staff and student body watch as the new fifth-year boy summons a storm of thunderclouds with one hand, then hurls Parseltongue and Chain Lightning straight into his face. Dumbledore sips his tea and muses, "Perhaps he really is a Tauren." Snape's face darkens even further.

This novel and its characters are entirely fictional. Any resemblance is purely coincidental. Do not imitate.